Business as usual

Indeed the latest frenzy of forum sleb’s makes me wonder if we’ll see a revised form of TV game show ‘Forum fishing’. In this crack, new,  game show, the two nominated hobby ‘slebs’ go to an exhibition with the suckiest, most enthusiastic, of the forum feeders, contestants. The cam follows them around the show where the ‘slebs’ can show their knowledge and social skills as they parade, unhindered by backpack wearing stoats, through the ailles between the layouts, trade and demo’s. They’re stalked, accompanied by the three players, who have to hang on every word as they will form the later questions. The contestants get time to eat with their muses, heroes,  feasting on the delights of exhibition catering, before the ‘show’ begins. The contestants of course are kept a respectable distance away, so as not to indulge in any unhinged, faux-seductive moves, on their victims, of the type tried in nightclubs by pissed stoats in a misguided attempt to secure some floor sweepings before the ugly lights come on.

At the appointed hour the forum will open with an on-line vid cam interview, free of charge of course, coz the nets free innit? Dan Winterland, our ever genial host will provide the link between our ‘slebs’ and players, knowing full well the indolent quarry of the audience will be at home covered in Aphrodite’s evostick, having been surfing advertisements for limited edition ‘releases’ on the shit pump.

Our ‘game’ contestants then, each issued with an elbow length Marigold and half tin of Swarfega, are sat next to a box, not unlike a confessional cubicle, with the ‘sleb’ one side,  prepared to be the wheelbarrow, rather than the earthy chap pushing it from behind, and on the other, in arm’s reach, the players. Each get their chance to identify the ‘sleb’, by searching  for familiar exhibition fare, whilst gurning and muttering under their breath. Detailed, timed questions, relayed expertly by Dan on the ‘slebs’ specialist subject are asked, meanwhilst the players attempt to expertly shovel the steaming dung, (with their free hand), into a bucket.

Prizes will include, amongst other goodies, replacement watches.

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