Archive for insurance

Appetite for Destruction

Posted in Humour, insurance, life, motoring, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 22, 2008 by norvenmunky

Well I think the laydee at the insurance company had had better days.
Always a pleasure to discuss insurance renewals I had a new and wholey unexpected view of customer service earlier.
Nm until recently was the proud owner, well owner, of two cars. Due to an oversight in the maintenance regime I allowed a cam belt to go unreplaced. Clearly theres a good reason for the manufacturer suggesting to replace items at ‘x’ miles, its because if you don’t they break. Well I learnt the lesson the hard way, the cam belt said ‘Goodnight Vienna’ with the resulting sound track of Keith Moon kicking over his drum set and that was that. Well the car went to the scrappy and the DVLA in due course confirmed that the mota was scrapped. Job done or so I thought.

So whats this got to do with the insurance bint? Well I’d paid in full for a year and had a month left to run which I wouldn’t get refunded, so I left it. As Ms Bint was ringing to offer an unbeatable deal for next year, I mentioned that last week it was confirmed broken up and scrapped, so please cancel the insurance its no longer required. This clearly was a bit difficult to understand so I was offered an opportunity for them to re-quote, and to beat any other offer, me being so valued and all …

I said I really did think it would be in our mutual interest to cancel the policy as the car had been scrapped. It went quiet for a second and Ms. Bint clearly spoke to an intellectual superior futher up the food chain at You or I would know them as direct line, however a more appropriate name would be ‘missing link’. On her return I was offered to let the insurance run to the end of the term, (Late August). I asked why, and she said the boss had authorised it as I was such a valued punter. I said ok ta v much, may I have a quick word with the ever so generous and thoughtful executive, whom had made this executive descision.

A second later, no ‘Greensleeves’ (TF for that), and I was put through to Mr Fortesque Exceptionally-Dense, who indeed confirmed the details of this exceptional offer, after a brief explanation that I had scrapped the car. Oh I’d also like to report my car damaged I said, Mr F. E-D ‘When did this happen?’, ‘ Oh about three weeks ago’ said I, I know where it is though and its all smashed up, can I claim for it? Mr F. E-D (somewhat sternly now), so why have you left it so late to report? Mr Nm, Well I wanted to make sure it was scrapped, I didn’t realise I could scrap the car and then claim for it, so thats what I’d like to do. Mr F E-D now a clearly a bit annoyed and even sterner ‘Well thats not how the system works, blah blah’ … After his patient explanation I asked him why they wanted to insure a written off car then if I couldn’t claim on it. ‘We don’t!’ he said, Nm ‘Well I think if you check your recording for training purposes, I think you’ll find that Ms Bint and yourself have in fact been offering to do just that, what bit of the car’s been scrapped are you having a problem understanding?’ I queried. Again an invaluable pause followed by ‘So you don’t want to continue with the insurance for the car then?’ No ta, I says, ok he says, ‘tappity tap’ in the background, ok thats sorted, send back your insurance certificate please. Certainly I say, I’ll wait your SAE, I think I may be waiting a while …